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Jeff Dunham

Started by Penny. Last reply by G.O.L DARK RAVEN ONE S.O.L Mar 23, 2014. 1 Reply

Jeff Dunham is a well-known…Continue

Jeff Dunham

Started by Penny Mar 23, 2014. 0 Replies

Jeff Dunham is a well-known…Continue

Doctor's Advice

Started by G.O.L DARK RAVEN ONE S.O.L. Last reply by Magistar Sep 6, 2010. 1 Reply

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually..…Continue

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Comment by Penny on Monday

Comment by Penny on Monday

Comment by Penny on Monday

Comment by Penny on Monday

Comment by G.O.L DARK RAVEN ONE S.O.L on October 15, 2013 at 12:10am

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'
'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been out of the yard'

Comment by Penny on October 13, 2013 at 5:49pm

Comment by Penny on October 13, 2013 at 5:48pm

Comment by Penny on October 13, 2013 at 5:46pm

Comment by Magistar on September 1, 2011 at 11:03am
CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS..............................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO..
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!



NOW SEND THIS TO 5 PEOPLE IN THE NEXT 15 MINUTES AND YOU WILL GET A SURPRISE!!! ?
Comment by Magistar on July 20, 2011 at 1:08pm
 

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